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10 reasons why crying during or after sex is completely normal

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If you've ever cried during or after sex, know that it's completely normal and you're not alone.

10 reasons why crying during or after sex is completely normal

They can be tears of happiness, tears of relief, or a little melancholy. Tears during or after sex can also be a purely physical reaction.

IT IS SCIENCE Clinically speaking, crying after sex is known as postpartum dysphagia (PCD) or - sometimes - postpartum tristlie (PCT). PCD symptoms can include tears, sadness, and irritability after consensual sex, even when it's completely satisfying.

PCD is not necessarily associated with orgasm. It can happen to anyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation.

Research on this topic is limited, so it's hard to say how many people experience it.

In a 2015 study, researchers surveyed 230 heterosexual women and found PCD to be common.

Using an anonymous questionnaire for a 2018 study, researchers found that 1,208 men, 41 percent experienced PCD. Up to 4 percent said it was a regular thing.

Follow along as we look at some of the reasons someone might cry during or after sex and what to do if it happens to you or your partner.


A wide range of emotions can evoke crying, and they're not all bad.

Perhaps you have experienced or witnessed tears of joy, like a wedding or a child. The same thing can happen during or after sex.

Maybe you're in love, or perhaps you've had the best sex ever.

If you haven't had sex for a while or anticipate it for a long time, these feelings can be even more intense.

Overwhelmed by the script

Have you completely lost in the moment? Did you roleplay or fantasize during sex?

These scenarios can increase stress and create an emotional roller coaster.

You may have quickly bounced from anticipation to fear before ecstasy before falling to earth.

Tears can mean that you are simply overwhelmed by the thrill of it all.

If you're bothered by the crying reaction, you can try reducing the script a bit to see if that helps.

Overwhelmed by your body's reaction

Have you just had the biggest orgasm of your life? Was it your first experience with multiple orgasms?

Intense physical sexual pleasure can certainly be overwhelming, and it's not surprising that you cry.

On the contrary, you may be overwhelmed by your body's lack of response.

If you've been looking forward to great sex and didn't get the ending you wanted, you may be so frustrated and stressed that you cry.

Biological reactions

Some estimates suggest that anywhere from 32 to 46 percent of women experience PCD. But there hasn't been much research to determine why.

It may be due to hormonal changes that occur during sex, which can lead to intense emotions.

Crying can also be a Trusted Source mechanism for stress relief and intense physical stimulation. If you drop a dry spell, suddenly letting go of all that pent-up sexual energy can definitely bring you to tears.

Sometimes it's purely physical.


There are many reasons you may feel pain with sex.Giao hợp đau được gọi là chứng khó tiêu , bao gồm đau trong hoặc sau khi giao hợp do:

  • lack of lubrication

  • trauma or irritation of the genitals

  • urinary tract or vaginal infection

  • eczema or other skin conditions near the genitals

  • vaginal muscle spasms, called vaginismus

  • congenital abnormality

Sex-related physical pain can be treated, so make an appointment with your doctor.

If sex play involves limitations or any level of pain that you are uncomfortable with, talk to your partner about how to roleplay without causing physical pain. Find a level that works for both of you.


Crying is a natural response to stress, fear, and anxiety.

When you're feeling anxious in general, it's hard to ignore it and have sex.

Your body may be going through the motions, but your mind is elsewhere. You may find yourself in tears because of it.

Could it be that you are a bit worried about performance? You may worry about whether you'll satisfy your partner or whether you're living up to expectations.

All those worries can usher in floods and tears.

Shame or guilt?

There are so many reasons you might feel so ashamed or guilty about sex that it makes you cry.

At some point in your life, someone may have told you that sex is inherently bad, especially in certain contexts. You don't have to buy into these theories to get them to pop into your head at inopportune times.

You may be uncomfortable with what you see as online animal behavior, kinky sexuality, or a lack of impulse control. You may have body image problems or dread the prospect of being seen naked.

Shame and guilt can also be the residual effects of other relationship problems that follow you into the bedroom.


Confusion after sex is not unusual. It could be due to gender itself.

Is that a case of mixed signal? You think things will go one way but they go the other way?

You told them you didn't like something but did they do it anyway?

You think you're bringing joy but they're clearly unhappy or upset?

Unresolved issues and emotional confusion from a relationship can invade your sex life. You may have different ideas about where the relationship stands or how the other person really feels about you.

Sex doesn't always turn out great. Sometimes one or both of you get confused and frustrated.


If you find yourself crying frequently, it could be a sign of depression or another mental health condition that needs to be addressed.

Other signs of depression may include:nỗi buồn

  • frustrated, annoyed or angry

  • anxiety difficulty sleeping, restlessness, or fatigue

  • loss of concentration or memory changes in taste

  • inexplicable pain

  • loss of interest in normal activities, including sex

PCD rates are higher for those with postpartum depression. That could be due to rapid fluctuations in hormone levels.

Trigger past trauma or abuse

If you are a survivor of sexual assault, certain movements or positions can trigger painful memories.

This can make you feel especially vulnerable, and tears would be an understandable response.

If this has become a regular problem, you may want to take a break from sex. Consider seeing a qualified therapist who can help you work on coping skills.

What to do if you cry

For pain or physical discomfort right before, during, or after sex, see your doctor. Many causes of this type of pain are treatable.

If not, think of reasons to cry. Here are some questions to ask yourself in this moment:

  • Is it just a few stray tears or am I really crying?

  • Does it feel physical or emotional?

  • What went through my mind when it started? Are my thoughts pleasant or disturbing?

  • Did I relive an abusive event or relationship?

  • Does crying relieve stress or add to it?

If your answers tend to be filled with love or pure physical pleasure, then you probably don't need to worry about it. Shedding a few tears or even a tear is not always worth a change.

If your answers are geared toward emotional problems in a relationship or in the bedroom, here are a few things to try:

  • Give it time. Go through these questions again the next day when you have some alone time and can fully explore your feelings.

  • Talk to your partner. Working on relationship issues can clear the air and enhance your sex life.

  • Talk about sex. Discuss your sexual likes and dislikes. Be careful not to criticize, but to encourage the sharing of feelings and ideas with the aim of enriching your sexual experience. It can be awkward, but it's worth it.

If this process causes painful trauma or unresolved emotions, don't dismiss crying as unimportant.

What to do if your partner cries

Seeing your partner cry can be a bit embarrassing, so:

  • Ask if something isn't right, but try not to belittle or sound accusatory.

  • Provide comfort, but respect their wishes if they need some space.

  • Bring it up later, beyond the heat of the moment. Listen respectfully. Don't force the issue if they still don't want to discuss it.

  • Do not promote sex with them.

  • Ask how you can help.

Basically, just be present for them.

Key point

Crying during or after sex is not unusual and, while it usually doesn't cause alarm, it can be a sign of deeper issues that need to be addressed.

If this happens often, you may find it helpful to talk to a therapist about what you're going through.

They can help you unpack the reason for your tears and potentially resolve any potential problems.

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